Escaping the Darkness

Paul Kelly

PAUL Kelly had been in the grip of depression for more than 20 years.

The father-of-three said he had no sense of self worth and felt like a burden to everyone around him.

"I lived a life of really bad depression," he said.

"It got to the point where every day I just wanted to die. There were times I turned to the bottle, anything to numb away being me."

Just after his 40^th birthday, Paul suffered a serious motorbike crash and badly damaged his leg. During his recovery he became addicted to painkillers and his life spiralled out of control.

It was at this point of despair that Paul said he began to cry out to God for help.

"I wanted God to be like Paul Daniels and magic everything away," he said.

"It didn't work like that."

Paul began reading his daughter's Christening Bible and was struck by the words of the Psalms in which David cried out to God.

"I began to understand that God loves people who come to Him. I felt a presence come over me as I prayed, which was more than happiness. It was as if everything in my body was being washed over with joy. It gave me a strength to be able to sort out my life. I knew then that I was going to be ok."

Paul visited his local vicar, Rev David Casswell, at Clifton Parish Church, to tell him what had happened.

"I wanted to make sure I'd become a Christian," he said.

"We met each other once a week and although it was a difficult beginning, I felt transformed.

"I no longer had that hand of depression on my life."

Paul, 43, who had no church background, is now helping out at a local Anglican church in York and training to be a plumber.

"God has taken me out of my own personal Egypt," he added.

"I believe that no matter how difficult your life is, and no matter what you've done, turning to Christ is the best thing you can ever do."